SSBBQ: Super Smash BarBeQue
by Dominator046
Summary: One hot day in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario fails in his attempt to beat the heat. Little does he know this will spawn one of the GREATEST PARTIES OF ALL TIME! Rated to be safe, I do not own the rights to the characters or the games.
1. Introduction to Destruction

**Welcome to the fiction! May you enjoy your stay! ^^**

**This is a fairly large crossover, with a large cast list that will NOT be revealed to you Xd. So keep your wits about you and enjoy the random funnyness!**

**ERE' VE TAKE FUNNAH, AND VE SHPANK IT! XDD**

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Chapter 1: Introduction to Destruction

"Luigi," Mario muttered, shaking the arm of his younger brother, "Luigi, time to geet up."

Mario always remembered caring for Luigi, and would always be there for his younger brother. Even now, it was even hard to do something as simple as wake him up from his sleep. The plumbers strong Italian accent, strange despite his being born in the Mushroom Kingdom, raised in Brooklyn to his parents that immigrated to the Mushroom Kingdom from Italy; who then moved to Brooklyn when he was little, his toddler adventures in the Mushroom Kingdom took place just before said move, Growing up in Brooklyn spanned most of his life, then his past years here in the mushroom kingdom.

Now he was a Twenty-Seven year old plumber with many-a-notches on his belt.

"Brother, time-to-get-up-a." Mario said, shaking the shoulder of Luigi a little more.

Rustling could now be heard from Luigi's bunk, as he turned beneath his green quilt. "nnn… Daisy… stop-a dat… Let-a me rest."

"Luigi, if you spend-a too much-a time dreamin' about-a Daisy, we won't make it in time."

Luigi then bolted up, remembering where he was, and what Mario was talking about. "Ai-eee! Mario! We have to get out of here, quick!" With that, he bolted out of bed, and gathered what he'd need.

"Get dressed, I'll be out-a here when you's a-ready." Mario said, walking out of the room, before Luigi could undress.

Mario had been sure to pack everything but Luigi's clothes.

Moment later, Luigi sprung from their bedroom, wearing attire similar to his brother.

…Swim trunks.

"You got'a everything, brother?" Luigi asked, unbunching his trunks.

"Towels, sunblock, money, everything we will-a need, now, let'sa go!" Mario said, as he and his brother charged out the front door, Luigi slamming it shut behind them.

Usually they'd take the transport pipe, but knowing what would await them early this morning, they ran to Mario's Go-Kart.

Mario tossed the bags in the back, and Luigi stood where he usually did on Mario Go-Kart when they rode together. Mario hopped into the driver's seat, and quickly started her up and pulled out of his driveway.

"Drive-a Brother! Drive!" Luigi called, hanging onto the cart as Mario sped down the street.

Mario sped into Toad Town, it was a short drive, but an even shorter pipe ride. However, they would need to drive as fast as possible to their destination to avoid what line they could.

Mario drove as fast as he could through town, when he suddenly did a flying U-Turn into a parking space, where both the brothers dismounted.

Then, they began to run, with the sweltering hot early morning sun in the air. This was going to be one of the hottest days of the year, second only to tomorrow. It would be a paradise of days… if one could swim and keep to the shade.

The Mario house did not have air conditioning, but could be livable though uncomfortable, Mario wanted to swim in the Toad Town public pool… but surely, so would everyone else. So he and Luigi prepared yesterday, but didn't expect to sleep in as late as they did.

Though it was pre-noon, they feared it would already be too late.

Luigi ran slightly ahead of his brother, he could run faster, but he wouldn't abandon Mario.

Mario, panting behind Luigi, did his best to keep up.

That was when they saw it.

A short line, a short line! Thank the stars! A short line!

Mario and Luigi charged the lines, hoping to be there before anyone else.

However, they wouldn't be that lucky.

Just before they could reach the line, a horrendously obese toad woman on some godforsaken power-chair scooted into the line. Mario and Luigi tried to stop, and they did just before coming into contact the giant mass.

Mario let out a sigh, but Luigi did not.

He could only stare forward at the heaping mass of fat that could barely be called a toad. The light that enabled him to see, that came into contact with her skin, letting him see her, burned his very brain with the horror of her visage.

The line moved slowly, and each time, the dying hum of the power-chair could be heard.

Until, finally, it was their turn to pay and get in!

Mario and Luigi stepped forward, overjoyed.

"I-I… I'm so sorry." The toad said, obviously embarrassed, having to say this to the Heroes of the Mushroom Kingdom. "W-we've reached maximum capacity… we… we can't take in anymore… I'm very sorry."

Mario let out a sigh, "It'sa alright, we's understand. Let'sa go, Luigi." Mario said, taking his inaudiable and horrified brother down the walkway, and back to the cart.

Mario drove them through town, to the winding road that would lead Mario to Princess Peach's Castle.

After driving awhile through a forest road, and on a bridge over a Chi-Chi infested Lake, they found their way to Princess Peach's Castle, grand and glorious as it was…

It had air-conditioning of sorts, using instead of an actual machine, ice flowers in the vents.

Mario walked with Luigi, who was now better after having had time to recover from the horror of that woman, as Mario unlocked the door to her castle.

The locks were magical, and required a very special key, which Mario and Luigi both had.

As they stepped inside they were greeted by none-other Princess Daisy.

"D-D-Daisy," Luigi began, surprised, "What-a you-a doin' here?

"I could ask the same, what are you two doing here?" Daisy asked, giving a look at the two barely dressed plumbers.

"We tried to go-a to the pool today, but-a they was a-full." Mario said, chuckling, "How about you?"

"I'm staying the month over here at Princess Peach's Castle… and we were going to do the same, but if what you say is true, then I don't want to make anyone else leave."

"Neither did we, so we just left." Luigi said, smiling, not mentioning the fact that up until a little while ago he was a stuttering husk.

…

Mario, Luigi, Daisy and Peach sat in a parlor of the Castle, relaxing and trying to think of a fun way to beat the heat.

They'd tossed around several ideas, not all of them too bright. Luigi suggested they have a snowball fight with Ice Flowers… but… no one wants to get that cold.

"Gah!" Luigi said, shaking his head, "How are we a-going to do dis'?"

"I really don't know." Peach said, looking to see if anyone else had any ideas.

"If only we was-a lucky enough to have a nice big pleasant lake like-a your friend, what's his name… Link." Luigi continued…

That's when the idea struck Mario, as he went over, and hugged his brother. "You're a genius!"

…

Word spread quickly, Mario got in touch with Link by means of Merlon, and several other people. Mario had instructed Luigi, Peach, and Daisy to purchase what they would need for a massive Barbecue. While they did that, Mario went to work inviting guests.

Mario had gone all out on this list, and told those people to bring even more.

Mario first told Link to bring friends, and Link told Mario he'd be bringing his fair maiden Ilia, whom he was very romantically involved with.

Mario had contacted several of Links other friends, on being the Princess Zelda, and the Princess Midna. He'd have a way for Midna to reach Hyrule without dealing damage to the barriers that separated them.

Mario had also contacted an old friend, the Hero of Time, Link. Link was psyched that Mario was throwing a barbecue, and promised attendance. He didn't know what he could do about bringing guests, but said he'd do his best.

Mario sent word to all his old companions, and hoped they could attend. And as much as Mario would hate it, he sent word to Wario and Waluigi to see if they could attend.

Mario had sent a message to Marth, and hoped he could attend. With that invitation, he also sent one to a large group other brawlers

He gave the time and place: Lake Hylia, all day tomorrow. Everyone from their respected universe was to bring something to contribute, as Mario didn't have the gold coins to afford everyone's way.

Mario would have to wait and watch his plans unfold.


	2. A Beach, Brothers, a Couple, and

**Chapter 2! Yay! ^^**

**This one, not too funny, has some more canon related material than humor. Although, I did my best to force some laughs into it = ).**

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Chapter 2: A Beach, Brothers, a Couple, and a Few Princesses

It was early in the morning, as Mario stood at the stoop of his home, as he summoned a warp pipe. "You's ready brother?" He asked, looking to his green clad brother.

Luigi looked back at him, both of them carrying a small amount of baggage, "Yes, Brother, let's get-a goin'."

With that, the two of them jumped into the warp pipe, and were on their way.

Once the warp pipe ended, they appeared in front of the Light Spirit's cave, Link having asked the spirit if it was okay. The spirit was gracious and approved, and thus Mario had an area to set up his party: On the long strip of shore just below the flat meadow where a tower rested.

(NOTE: NO THERE IS NOT A SHORE THERE, but I imagine realistically, Lake Hylia would be a good deal bigger, and thus I felt like adding a nice beachfront there)

Mario and Luigi began to take a few steps towards the hanging bridges that would take them to their destination, before a voice rang out over their shoulders.

"Well, you two got here early."

As Mario and Luigi turned to see who said that, they saw the smiling face, long dirty-blond hair, and rural garb of the familiar ranch hand.

"Link! It'sa good-a to see you!" Mario said, smiling, and waving over to his friend.

"I hope you didn't mind that I brought company." Link asked, stepping forward, as behind him, his trusty horse Epona trotted forward, and upon it, the young maiden he'd grown so very attached to.

"Is that-a his princess?" Luigi asked Mario, just teasing Link a little bit.

"Something like that, but he knows he can't call me that." Ilia said, dismounting Epona, who was carrying a fair load of provisions already. "My name's Ilia, nice to meet you." She added, bowing her head slightly to the two plumbers.

"Oh, no need-a to bow to us, we're just your average every day-a plumbers!" Mario said, giving a peace sign, though he was far from ordinary.

"Trust me you're far from ordinary Mario, that's for sure." Link said, chuckling. "Let's get our stuff set up; I heard yesterday you guys dropped off plenty."

…

Mario, Luigi, Link, Ilia and Epona made their way down to the beach below, where Mario had laid out, literally, tons of things one would need for the best barbeque ever.

Loads of food, plenty of drink, tables, umbrellas, a massive tent with widescreen T.V and various videogame systems, speakers and a DJ booth; hell, even a stage slightly off the shoreline for a live performance they had planned for later!

The band was supposed to be very good, very popular in their world, so much so that they were considered their own economy.

Link and Ilia went to work assorting the food, while Mario and Luigi set up the furniture.

However, as they were setting up the tables, and umbrellas, Peach and Daisy had arrived. "Yoo-hoo! Mario, Luigi!" Peach called, from the warp pipe that they had arrived in.

Mario and Luigi waved as the princesses slowly walked over, and the brothers finished the table they were on.

"We ran into one of our guests along the way, so we helped show her here." Daisy said, the two princesses wearing their more sporty attire instead of their dresses. What they wore now was usually what they wore for golf, but they'd probably brought plenty of changes of clothes with the two large cases they'd carried.

From behind them marched the maiden of the stars, Rosalina.

"Rosalina, nice to-a see you!" Mario said, shaking her hand, and tipping his hat.

"Nice to see you and your brother, and it's so much nicer meeting when the world is not in danger." Rosalina said, wearing her usual dress.

"Hey, who are those two over there?" Peach asked, gesturing to Link and Ilia, organizing food and drinks into coolers and other containers.

"Those-a are the two inhabitants of dis' world, Link and-a Ilia." Mario explained.

"Aww, they look so nice, let's go introduce ourselves!" Daisy exclaimed, grabbing the other two princesses, and jogging them over to where the other two are.

"You think-a that there will-a be more of dat as the day goes on?" Luigi asked his brother.

"No doubt, my brother." Mario said, going back to the tables. "Now, help a brother with-a dis, there are plenty of tables left."

…

Along the beach, Link and Ilia were placing the food in correct containers so people wouldn't whine and complain later, and so nothing went bad.

Truth be told, it was kind of nice. Link and Ilia had admitted their feelings for each other a long while fair while ago, and knew full heartedly what they felt was true. In situations where most couples would be embarrassed, they were calm, cool and collected.

Link couldn't help but hear a rushing of sand and clothing, which distracted him from his one on one time with his darling damsel. He looked over to see three young women running towards him.

He was praying… Dear god… not fangirls.

Ilia noticed as well, but, thinking logically, figured they were party guests, and seeing how early they arrived, Mario's personal guests.

"Hey there!" One in orange attire, a sleeveless shirt, and short shorts said. With a girl dressed in similar pink clothing, and a slightly older woman with a light blue dress. "You two are Link and Ilia right?"

"Yeah, I'm Ilia, that's Link." Ilia said, smiling, Link letting out a sigh that it was not a group of voracious fan girls… the horror stories he could tell you.

"Nice to meet you both, I'm Daisy." The active, and energetic one in orange said, smiling. Her wavy chestnut hair blowing in the breeze; in the distance, Luigi was staring.

"I'm Peach, nice to meet you both." Peach said, lowering her head, semi-bowing. Remembering her hospitality and using her inner kindness… which she usually always did.

"I'm Rosalina, a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Rosalina said, smiling.

"Nice to meet you three," Link said, sitting back in the sand, "Where are you three from?"

"I'm the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom."

"I'm from Sarasaland, but currently staying in the Mushroom Kingdom."

"I make my home in the Gateway Galaxy."

"Sounds like you come from a colorful world." Ilia said, giving a slight giggle.

"Tell me, where do you come from?" Peach asked, sitting down in front of the two, and the other two Mushroom Kingdomers did the same.

"I'm from Ordon, and so is she." Link said, placing some drinks in a cooler specified for alcohol. If Captian Falcon would be here, they'd need enough Beer to not only fill Lake Hylia, but the surrounding basin.

"Oh, so, you're the Princess of Ordon, right?" Daisy asked, curious.

Ilia turned a bright red after Daisy said that, looking up at her. "N-no… not really…"

"She's the mayor's daughter." Link said, letting out a couple laughs. Ilia was certainly NOT a princess, she was an active member of the village, and was not a very girly-girl.

"Link! Err, yeah, my dad's the mayor, but I'm far from a princess." Ilia said, still blushing, slightly embarrassed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but looks are deceiving." Daisy said, giggling a bit, "But in all honesty, you are blessed with your looks."

"th-thanks." Ilia said, still blushing, but now it was from the flattery of the Princesses.

"I know! When we get back to the kingdom, I'll send you some of my old dresses!" Daisy said, beaming, "don't worry, I'm not a girly girl either, I have a record for the most paparazzi punched unconscious back in Sarasaland."

"Oh, thank you, I'm honored Princess Daisy." Ilia said, bowing her head.

"Please, just call me Daisy." She said, showing a bright smile.

"I'd offer you some of mine, but they're all pink and you probably wouldn't like that." Peach said, letting a smirk escape her.

"One time her father got her a pink shirt, and I could hear her scolding him from my house on the outskirts of the village." Link said, laughing a bit more as he recalled the memory.

"Oh, just wait and see what I'll do to you." Ilia said, poking Link's chest. Needless to say, this instilled him with the fear of god.

"Oooh, you'd better watch out, she's going to get you." Daisy teased, as the princesses began to laugh.

"Mario probably needs our help, we've been relaxing enough as it is." Princess Peach said, slowly rising.

"You're right, let's go." Rosalina said, who was standing the whole time. "It was nice meeting you both."

"Awww… alright, I'll see you two love birds later!" Daisy said, jogging to catch up with the other two women.

"…are we really that obvious?" Ilia asked Link, who was back to sorting.

"Yeah, sadly," he said, teasing, looking over at her, "Oh well, I don't care."

Needless to say, she smiled back.


	3. More Guests, More HellRaising

**More characters, I wonder who we will meet? = O**

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Chapter 3: More Guests, More Hell-Raising

Mario, Luigi, and the females from the mushroom kingdom went to quick work and managed to finish setting up the furniture along the beachside; there was enough set up to house a small concert.

Mario and Luigi took the liberty of sitting in the tent, but soon he heard the voice of a familiar adversary.

"Mario! Mario Mario! Come on out, I've come for you Mario!" This figure said, knowing Mario's last name, Mario, which few people did.

Mario slowly emerged from his seat, and stepped out of the tent, and looked to his right, to the bridges that lead to the Light Spirits cave.

There stood a figure blazed in a green workers shirt that draped down to his mid thighs, with a belt holding it firm at his waist. At his legs were a pair of white tight fitting leggings, that fit into a strong pair of boots. On his back was a large sword, requiring one hand to lift, but both to use it to its maximum potential. On his head was a head of pure blond hair, that shined like the sun, and a pair of strong blue eyes.

"Link!" Mario called out, darting over to the older Hero of Time, who had since been in and out of service to the Hylian Knights of his time, saving Hyrule, and spending time with his family.

"Mario, you old pipemonger! You look great, it's hard to believe it's been a year since we last met." The Hero of Time said, wrapping Mario in a tight hug. "Sorry I couldn't bring my family, they're over the in-laws."

"You don't-a say? That'sa too bad." Mario said, looking around. "Bring any more guests?"

"Oh yes, how could I not." Link said, extending his arms.

As he did, a series of colorful circles formed around him, and figures rose from them.

One, a young forest girl, clothed in all green as Link was himself. The next, a strong Goron, made of strong rock, and even stronger resolve. The one after that was a female Zora, proud and strong, in mind and spirit. The one after was an old, but still lethal warrior, a female battlemaster of the warrior group called the Sheikah. The next was a well trained Gerudo warrior, as skilled with a blade as she was gifted with her looks. The last was an aging man, with a kind expression and an aura of wisdom and altruism.

"Mario, meet Saria, Darunia, Ruto, Impa, Nabooru, and Rauru." Link said, and as he did, each of the sages bowed.

"Nice to meet you." Saria stated with a slight giggle.

"Well met, brother!" The Goron said, pounding on his chest.

"A Pleasure, I'm sure." The Zora said, bowing her head.

"Good to make your acquaintance." Impa said, nodding.

"Hello." Was all the Gerudo said, smiling, looking about the area.

"Salutations" the elder sage said, bowing his head

"Nice to meet-a you all, I'm-a Mario, make-a yourselves at home." Mario said, bowing his head to his guests.

With that, they all said their thank yous, and began to pace towards the chairs, tables and the tent; Mario and Link staying behind to chat in a nice open spot.

"So Mario, what other guests have arrived as of yet?" Link asked, sitting back on the ground.

"Just-a me, Luigi, Peach, Daisy, another maiden from the Mushroom kingdom named Rosalina… oh!" Mario said, remembering Link and Ilia's presence here as well. "One of your descendants is here, this is his realm."

"You didn't have to tell me that this was, or will be, Hyrule. I can smell the sediment of the lake and its shores, and recognize it off by heart… tell me, where is he?"

"He's right over there." Mario said, pointing down a ways at where Link and Ilia sat at the shore, having finished what they decided to do for the moment.

"Huh… who's the girl? That's not a Zelda I've ever seen before." Link asked, seeing if he recognized her, but obviously didn't. "And is she Hylian? I can't tell from this distance."

"That'sa Ilia, his significant other." Mario said, chuckling. "And she's human, in this time of Hyrule, Humans are accepted as equals among the Hylians. Also, they can use magic, the Hylian beliefs of your time were fairly biased."

"You don't say? Interesting, I'll have to make sure to introduce myself." Link said, looking up at the sky.

Just then, a portal, similar to the ones generated by brawl competitors when they entered a battle stage, formed in front of Mario and Link, soon after the portal formed, a blue skinned woman with fiery red hair stepped out in little more than an elegant black dress that showed off her features.

"Ah, it's nice to be back in the world of light again… oh, you must be the host of the party… Mario, right? Princess Zelda told me about you." The woman said, stepping forward, crouching down, and shaking Mario's hand as he laid on the ground. "Tee Hee, I'm Midna, The Twilight Princess."

"Nice-a to meet you, Midna. Make yourself at home." Mario said, smiling.

"Will do, I gotta' find Link anyways." Midna said, slowly pacing off towards the tent, seeing a good few of others in there.

After she was out of earshot, Link began, "Daaaaaaaaaaayum, that Ilia girl must be some kind of amazing to turn down a woman like that. I mean, I had a good few to choose from but I mean… Damn!"

"Princess Peach isn't anything to-a scoff at either." Mario said, grinning, laying back on the ground.

"No, she's not." A female voice said, slowly approaching.

When Mario and Link looked over, they saw the Princess Zelda of this world slowly approaching, calmly and fluidly as ever. "Ah, Princess Zelda, nice-a to have you here." Mario said, he was going to get up and formally greet Zelda, but she just motioned him to stay where he was.

"The pleasure is all mine Mario, glad to be here." Zelda said, smiling. Never being one to enjoy formalities, rather just put up with them. "I also brought what guests I could."

"Oh, who did you manage bring?" Link asked, slowly standing up. "Oh, I apologize, let me introduce myself, I'm Link… err, the Hero of Time."

"Oh, I'm honored." Zelda said, bowing her head, kneeling down, before rising again. She obviously held this hero in the highest of esteems, as would almost all of legend savvy Hyrule. "Just a modest few, but if you will excuse me, they can find their way here. I want to go mingle before any of the real party starts." She said, with a smile, before walking off to a group of others inspecting chairs, making sure they weren't going to be getting any defected ones.

With that, a Zora child stepped forward from the end of the bridge, stepping slowly towards the plumber. He was calm, and cool, with an inner sense of pride shrouded by a kind modesty."Princes Ralis, honored to be here." Ralis gently shook Mario's hand before bowing his head and walking off towards the crowd.

After Ralis, a large green goblin like figure slowly paced towards the group, he let out a grunt, as he cracked his back before the others, obviously not one for manners. "…King Bulbin."

After them, a rather noisy gang of four quickly made their way across the bridge. The first a man with brown-red hair, in a Samurai like ponytail; he wore the garb of a vagrant warrior, a haori with nothing to prevent his chest from being exposed. His leggings were basic, but around them was draped a large bolt of cloth that went from thin in the front, to draping down to his ankles in the back. On it was scrawled designs and letters in a foreign language. On his feat he wore boots similar to that of a Japanesse warrior, sandles over a pair of tabi, and metal sheets going up the front of his shin. On his back, he bore a large claymore sword of tremendous size, easily bigger than the two handed sword Link bore. "Sup, my name's Talo."

"Talo, would it kill you to be polite for once!" The next one to cross the bridge stated. She wore a simple shirt and skirt, neck length wavy brown hair flowing in the breeze. She let out a calming smile, and, literally, kicked Talo's ass with a sandled foot. "Sorry about him, my name's Beth."

The next one to cross was a slightly younger man, with blond hair that kept at neck length, except a rather large bang that crept in front of his face, hiding one of his eyes if you stood directly in front of him. His Jacket was a brown leather, and under it was a beige shirt. He wore beige pants, and a pair of leather boots that matched his jacket. At his side was a longsword, with a shape similar to that of a Japanesse Katana. "Hello, my name's Collins."

The last one to cross was the most silent of the bunch. He wore an ornate jacket with intricate designs, and an equally ornate shirt under it. His pants were posh and draped just above his ankles, where a pair of high socks climbed, and aristocrat shoes stomped the earth. His hair was buzzed short, and he wore an elegant fez-shaped hat, and a snobby monocle. "Greetings, I'm Malo."

The one who addressed himself as Talo seemed to sigh in disgust.

"Hey, weren't-a these kids in this-a realm?" Mario asked, looking at them, then looking at the Link in the distance, not getting the age difference.

"We're not from the dimension, gramps." Talo said, revealing he was holding some goods, stating he wasn't from the dimension of the other Links.

"Talo! Uggh, sorry again, we're from an alternate dimension." Beth said, wishing Talo'd mind his manners.

"Yes, I wish I could've brought more." Collins said, holding out a basket of what seemed to be freshly prepaired food he had made.

Link, the hero of time, let out a chuckle, all he'd brought was the stage for the band. It was the one he played on in Termina after saving the land from Majora. That counted as his dimension's party offering.

"Ah, I see I see, well then, have fun!." Mario said, nodding to the colorful group.

With that, they seemed to pace their way to the tent, eager to see who'd arrived.

"Sweet-a mother of-a mercy this is going to be one wild-a party!" Mario said, cheering, pumping his fist into the air.

"Don't get too excited Mario, Falcon isn't here yet." Link said, sitting himself back down. "We'd better drink ourselves merry soon, before his dumb ass drinks all the alcohol."

"That'sa true." Mario said, still grinning, excited for what was in store for his party.


	4. Mushrooms Galore

**Friends, People, Mushroom Kingdomers... lend me your ears! XDD**

**This chapter sees the arrival of many guests from the Mushroom Kingdom.**

* * *

Chapter 4: Mushroom Galore

In less than an hour, all of the guests from the Mushroom Kingdom had arrived. Mario had arranged one hell of a party if only from the Mushroom Kingdom.

Yoshi was next to arrive, greeting Mario with a wave and a hug. Yoshi had joined Mario on his adventures through the Mushroom Kingdom when he was only an infant, and had a brother-like bond.

Vivian was next to arrive, she was a sweet girl, and after giving Mario a hug, joined the rest of the party.

Goombario was next, having journeyed across the Mushroom Kingdom with a team of archaeologists, researching the past of the area surrounding Princess Peach's Kingdom. Goombario was quick to greet Mario, and even quicker to find some food.

Next was some of the old crew Mario used to play golf with; Azalea, Charlie, Grace, Maple, Mark and Plum, each wearing golf attire and carrying a bag of clubs, intent to play golf if they got the chance.

Next up was Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, after greating Mario in a mighty bear hug, Donkey and Diddy Kong ran down to where the festivities were, in search of foodstuffs. However, Mario was left in the dirt for a good few minutes, while a Hero of Time laughed as Mario attempted to recover from his near-death-hug-experience.

Wherever Yoshi went, Birdo was bound to follow. She came in, and greeted the recuperated Mario.

Sadly, the next two guests were not quite as pleasant. Wario and Waluigi stepped into the party scene, looking around. They just walked by Mario (except for Wario's passing of gas… which Mario assumed was a 'hello').

Mallo and Geno were next, greeting Mario after a long time of not communicating. Mallow was doing well, after finding out he was a prince, and the end of Mario's adventure (Super Mario RPG), he assumed his position in the kingdom. Geno was also doing fairly well, and had no complaints, so Mario was pleased, and so were they, as Geno ran off to where a few people were arm wrestling, and Mallow floated into the air, and watched from above.

There were two different arm wrestling matches going on at this point; Kooper against Koops, and Zelda against Wario.

Koops was holding his own against Kooper, but Kooper having been a rather active member of Koopa village opposed to Koops who wasn't quite as social, ended up winning the match after a long stalemate. The two shook, and nodded, becoming fast friends.

The other match was between Zelda and Wario. Wario, while being husky and overweight, had noticeable muscle on him, and enough pride to make a politician sick; Whereas Zelda was just calm, and slender, a staple of your average Hylian Princess.

This match was started because of a comment Wario had made, that Zelda needed to have Link do everything for her, because… "You Zelda's have a knack of being in distress quite a bit, so it wouldn't surprise me if yer' little arms couldn't lift a book."

Zelda had then stated, "Oh, you might be right, but just to prove it to everyone else, why don't we arm wrestle like the two Koopas over there?" This match had started mid-way into Kooper and Koops's arm wrestle, and was over before theirs ended.

Wario stuck his arm out over a table, and pounded his elbow into it with a thud, trying to intimidate the princess. The princess just slowly lowered her arm into position on the table, after slowly seating herself.

As they both joined hands, Wario asked, "Ya' ready, Princess?"

Zelda gave a slight smile, and nodded.

Then with that, it started… and finished.

Zelda had flung Wario's ready arm straight down into the table with a loud bang, with enough sudden force, that he actually fell off his chair.

Zelda had then stood up, and walked over to Wario, placing the heel of one of her boots on his chest. "Oh, did I forget to remind you, I'm not like most princesses."

After saying that, she slowly raised her foot off of him, letting the tip of her boot tap his nose; Leaving his pride broken just as much as his chances of having a non-jagged moustache.

Madame Flurry had arrived with the young yoshi, Mario; that had hatched during Mario's time as The Great Gonzales. They both said Hello, Madame Flurry giving Mario a strong kiss on the cheek, and the yoshi shaking his hand afterwards.

Goombella arrived next, by herself, after having been on an important dig on the island Mario had been shipwrecked on in the adventure for The Thousand-Year Door. Goombella jumped and hugged Mario, and gave him a delayed birthday present. It was an antique stone-carved star that she had acquired on one of her digs. No ancient mysteries or world threatening magic, just a nice decoration.

Lady Bow arrived next, surprisingly, without her butler. She quickly gave Mario a hug, but never once dropping her blase` expression, however that couldn't hide the joy in her voice. After approaching the party, several loud smacks could be heard, and a long legged, purple-wearing man falling into the water.

Admiral Bobbery arrived next, with a hearty laugh and the scent of salt about him. He gave Mario a good handshake, then proceeded to ask if he had any of a specific soda. Mario replied and pointed him out to Link and Ilia who would know where it was.

Mario wasn't sitting around all this time though… he was helping cook!

Mario, Peach, and Rosalina were busy manning, prepping, and cooking in the small area one could call a kitchen. Mario wasn't going to mingle himself until at least one round of food was done, and that was far from. However, he worked diligently, preparing food as fast as he could, without sacrificing quality.

Sushi arrived next with Lakilester, and Ms. Mowz in tow, and said their hellos from afar, as Sushi didn't want to go anywhere near a hot oven or range, and Lakilester was flying. Ms. Mowz was riding on Sushi, so getting close would involve moving Sushi, which she really couldn't do.

Bombette and Watt were next, and marked the end of Mario's marked list of people he knew was coming. Bombette was so excited to see Mario, she accidentally went off and slightly singed one of the cuffs at the end of Luigi's pant legs.

Watt tried giving Mario a hug, but decided against it at the last moment, as Mario was holding a frying pan, and humans are made up mostly of water. It wouldn't have ended well for Mario, in any way you look at it. So Watt just gave a gracious smile as he said hello the plumbers.

However, there was one more pair that was to arrive for the plumbers from the Mario's universe.

Two strangers had begun their approach, but Mario hadn't paid much attention to it, until he could make out the appearance of one of them.

Blue skin…

In tow, was a rather fetching woman, with long flowing hair, and kind ever gracious looks.

Even though Mario had never seen these two in his life, he knew who they were.

"Tippi? …err-a, Lady Timpani, Blumeire?" Mario asked, actually stepping out from behind the fire pit he was cooking in to personally see these two.

"It's been awhile." Blumeire said, smiling. He seemed to be quite a nice guy when he wasn't possessed by some evil book, and in his sorrow, trying to destroying all worlds.

"Please Mario, call me Tippi, part of me is still Tippi inside after all, so whatever you wish to call me is fine." Lady Timpani, or Tippi, said, smiling as she saw Mario, finally in her human form.

"It is-a so great to see-a you two, what happened after the sealing of the void?" Mario asked, recalling stopping the evil plans of Count Bleck, and the disappearance of these two.

"It is a long story, we will discuss it when you're not burning food." Lady Timpani said, giggling, as she pointed to the range Mario was at, which was now on fire.

"Mama Mia! Good idea!" Mario called out, running back to the range, and using some of his ice powers to chill the fire… and partially freeze the range.

With that, all the intended guests from the Mushroom Kingdom, plus two, had arrived.

However, the current guests were already finding ways of raising hell.

Midna, after arriving, saw Link and Ilia in the distance, and decided to torment her old friend. She slowly turned into a shadow, and crept into his. Then, slowly materializing behind him, she grabbed a nearby cooler Link had just filled with ice, lifted it up over his head, and slowly poured its contents out on him.

He was shocked… then freezing, he jolted up, and turned around, and was shocked when he saw the culprit. "M-Midna?"

"You said something this time!" Midna replied, dropping the empty cooler. "I must say it's nice seeing a girl and her wolf reunited again."

"Midna?" Ilia asked, having jolted away after ice fell down all over Link. She slowly stood up, walking back over to the other two. "You're the one that accompanied Link on his adventure?"

"Tee Hee, he told you a lot didn't he?" Midna said, smiling, then looking at Link. "Looks like he'll have some explaining to do from me, then again, I doubt there isn't much I don't already know."

"You always were quick-witted." Link said, chuckling, half of it out of humor, the other half out of embarrassment due to the fact he'd just been stealthily attacked by one of his best friends.

"You've got that right, and don't forget it." Midna said, before turning to look at Ilia. "You know what …I think me and you should have some girl-time later. So we can talk without any boys listening in." She added, gesturing to Link.

"That sounds like fun." Ilia said, teasing Link indirectly. "Maybe we can plot all sorts of dastardly things behind Link's back!"

Link started laughing, however, he knew that a team of those two should rightfully be feared. "Dear Goddesses… Send the lightning."

During this time, away from the horrors that may or may not be plotted upon him in the future, Luigi was sitting in the tent, looking at all the games in the tent. Luigi was slightly upset that they did not carry his game, Paper Luigi, which featured him attempting to save Princess Éclair.

However, while Luigi was putting a game back, he saw Wario.

Normally, this would not be a big issue, but due to the events yesterday that involved a Toad with more enough to love that she could divide it up and love a whole neighborhood for a century, he was reminded of horrible images.

He slowly tucked his knees close to his chest, rocking back in forth in the fetal position, and began to suck his thumb; trying to quell the thoughts of powerchair-crippling and eye-burning obesity.


	5. DisCourteous Guests

**TIME FOR BLOODSHED.**

**We haven't seen much violence yet, and I promise to change that X).**

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Chapter 5: Dis-courteous Guests

With Mario and company slaving over hot stoves to prepare food for the early arrivers, everyone was more a less just introducing themselves, getting ready for a swim on this hot day ,and or engaging in conversation.

However, not all of them were friendly.

Talo sat on a chair, lounging back, his sword impaled in the ground, as he finished a beer. He looked to his side and saw Collins daydreaming, as he usually was. Talo wouldn't say it out loud, but Collins was his best friend, but he had one hell of a way of showing it.

"Hey, pansy, maybe you should think less, and get me another beer?" Talo said, letting out a belch.

"No thank you, you can get it." Collins said, still immersed in his thoughts, until he turned to Talo and said, "You could always have Malo get it?"

"Gah!" In the dimension these version of the Ordon children came from, King Bulbin never surrendered, and Link came back later, and the children learned how to fight. Talo was soft deep deep inside, but on the outside… he was much less hospitable. Talo and his brother never saw eye to eye, and was disgusted at Malo's choices, lining his pockets with gold, and staying away from the frontlines. "Not if I was in the middle of the desert, and had gone a week without water."

"Then you will have to get it yourself." Collins said, leaning back with a sigh.

"What's got your panties in a bunch?" Talo asked, pointing a finger at Collins, finally sitting up.

"Well… I sent Luda an invitation…"

"The priestess, why bother?" Talo said, coming to his feet, and waving his arm for emphasis. "They're all respectful and constantly emotionless."

"No they aren't, and you know it" Collins said, smiling, blushing slightly, and continuing his trip through imagination land.

"Gah, you're pathetic." Talo retorted, slumping back down into his seat, looking away. "I just hope you court women better than you fight."

And so began the daily ritual.

"What was that?" Collins asked, sitting up himself.

"You heard what I said, pansy-boy!" Talo said, letting out a laugh. "You couldn't possibly hope to impress anyone with the way you fight."

Collins fights much like his father, using a longsword and swift movements. However, he learned many maneuvers from traveling warriors during the time after the Twilight Invasion, during the battles against the Bulbins. He fights in a way comparable between a hybrid of an Ordonian Swordsman, and a Vagrant Samurai.

After the Twilight Invasion, Talo trained vigorously, and grew strong. He at first based his fighting style off of the Hylian Knights. But quickly, he outgrew it, learning sparse bit of magic, and using his overwhelming pride and strength, he developed his own berserk style. He uses a massive claymore sword, bigger than himself, which he wields with a single hand. The other hand he could use to beat down the opponent with incredible strength, as he could also do with his legs.

"Are you so sure about that?" Collins asked. They sparred against each other often, in fact, their usual amount of fighting was about six times or so a week. "I am fairly skilled, and you seem to forget a few of our matches."

"Bah, you got lucky those times, we both know you couldn't beat me." Talo said, standing up, and pounding his chest.

Before Talo could blink, Collins had drew his katana-like longsword, took an offensive stance, and positioned the blade to Talo's neck. "Perhaps we should find out."

"By all means, let's find out." Talo said, a ball of what appeared to be red lightning formed in the distance between the blade and Talo's neck, small as it was, when it exploded, it had enough force to send Collins blade away. Talo raised his arm, and pointed to an area of raised elevation, where a lone tower stood above the ground. "Up there, five minutes."

Collins nodded, and sheathed his sword, and began to pace away from Talo.

Talo pulled his sword from the ground, and leaned it over his shoulder as he walked away.

In the distance, Beth saw the two of them, and let out a sigh. "Those two are complete idiots, gah!"

"I wonder how much it costs to disown a brother." Malo said, sitting back, sipping some wine.

"You don't mean that?" Beth asked, looking over at Malo, surprised at what he said.

"No no, I do care for him, and he does… have his uses." Malo said, between sips of his drink.

"Sometimes I wonder how you stay married." Beth said, crossing her arms, looking at Malo. Malo was the youngest of them, and married to some noble's daughter.

"It's very simple, it's almost like a trade. I keep her wealthy, and she keeps me happy." Malo said, smiling. The Malo of this world, unlike in Link's world, wouldn't change, and would remain childish and ignorant after the Twilight Invasion.

"Yeah, but I wonder how 'happy' you make her?" Beth said, teasing, leaning forward and flicking at his fez hat.

Malo's expression changed to almost an upset sneer, as he finished his drink. "…That's not part of the trade."

Several other brawlers had taken the liberty of arriving early. So far, only Kirby, Pikachu and Samus had arrived. Pikachu arrived with Samus, who held Pikachu like she would a pet. While it showed a softer side of Samus, a few on lookers looked jealously at Pikachu.

Kirby had arrived slightly after, and waved to Mario, and almost devoured all the food Mario had made. But Mario had convinced Kirby to wait… almost getting devoured himself.

Mario was almost finished with the first round of food, and after that, he planned to order food. He felt that it was an honest effort to show his guests. Luigi had overcome his scarred state a few minutes earlier, and was back to helping. The two brother ran the kitchen as best they could.; occasionally speaking to passersby, mostly two specific princesses.

Near a tall tower, standing high over the lake, on a flat spot of land, Talo stood waiting, eager to put Collins in his place.

Just then Collins slowly emerged from the ladder that lead to this place, looking at his opponent in the distance. "You're early Talo, that's a first."

Talo held out his claymore, smiling. "I just couldn't wait to wipe that grin off of your face, whelp."

"You're the one who's grin will vanish." Collins said, slowly reaching to his sword in his sheath, placing his hand upon the grip, and the other on the sheath.

"You always were one to talk with respect, and some sort of justice, it's 'bout time you shut your mouth!" Talo said, taking a single step forward, slamming his foot unto the earth, his unarmed hand in front of him, and the one bearing his claymore behind him. Talo was ambidextrous, so it could be either hand, but in this case, his right hand was unarmed.

"Then let's begin!" Collins said, charging Talo with great speed, only comparable to the speed at which he swung his sword as he drew it.

Talo raised his arm, and brought his sword around in front of him, blocking Collins as he did so. "Let's finish!" Talo called out, turning, and cleaving a slash back towards Collins at he did so.

Collins ducked under the swing, but Talo quickly smacked Collins with the bottom of the sword; then Collins had the wind knocked out of him as Talo flathand punched him in the gut, and lifted him up.

"Nighty…" Talo began, raising Collins over head. He could toss Collins forward into the lake, but that wouldn't give him any satisfaction. So he turned to his right, and tossed Collins to the ground (with his right arm being the one he was holding him up with), "Night!"

Collins hit the ground with a thud, but quickly hopped back up, ready for Talo to attack.

Most warriors would think of a strategy before charging a skilled opponent… but Talo was not most warriors. Talo ran full speed for Collins, who prepared an attack to greet Talo.

However, Talo spun his blade in his hand, so he was wielding it backhanded, and began to slide. As he slid, he drove his sword into the ground, and with that, he spun, and cleaved upwards through the ground under Collins sending him up into the air.

Talo quickly jumped up, quick on the chase, and threw a punch towards Collins.

Collins blocked it, using the flat side of his blade, then with a spin, he sent a kick towards Talo.

Talo lowered his sword arm, and blocked the hit, before spinning and sending a kick towards Collins as they fell.

Collins grabbed his leg, and spun, using Talo as a cushion to land on when they hit the ground. After having landed, Collins jumped off of Talo, a good few feet back.

Talo quickly leaped up from the small crater the two had formed upon their landed, and grappled Collins with the hand his sword was in, and lifted him over his shoulders with a 180 degree turn "Now…" After the turn, Talo pulled Collins off, and punched him in the gut with his free hand, "Go Down!"

Collins once again had the wind knocked out of him, but after a moment of laying on the ground, he rolled back a few feet and got back up, then charged Talo once more.

Talo prepared a strong punch for Collins, but Collins spun to the side, and kicked Talo in the stomach, causing him to kneel over. Collins then sword slapped him in the side of the face, causing him to fall to the side.

Collins held his sword over Talo's head, grinning. "Had enough?"

Talo jumped up, recklessly then grabbed Collin's jacket. Collins was able to nimbly slide out of it, and pick up his sword, after having dropped it to escape the jacket, just in time to avoid a knee from Talo.

Having missed, this only added to Talo's rage, he held his arms close, as short strands of red lightning surrounded him. "Nnhaha," Talo chuckled, after causing a ball of red lightning to explode around him, causing Collins to be flung a good distance away from him. "Had enough?"

As their battle raged on, Mario could tell something was wrong.

He was taking a break from cooking, Luigi having offered to cover for him. He sat by the lakeside, drinking some bottled water. But, the feeling didn't go away.

But, only after hearing a familiar voice, did it click.

"Greetings fools!" A figure said, arriving in a familiar small white propeller ship, then leaping from it.

"Mama mia…"

Mario said, as the figure met the ground, and caused a minor tremor. "Why wasn't I invited to this party?"

"Because, Bowser, last-a time you tried to kill all of us!" Mario said, climbing to his feet, having lost his balance and fallen.

"Oh, all in good fun!" Bowser said, laughing. "Anyways, I won't try killing anyone this time, it didn't help me take over the kingdom last time anyways… KAMMY! DROP THE CRATE!"

"The Cra…"

Mario could only say, before a massive crate fell from the sky, and another tremor knocked Mario on the ground.

"STOP-A FUCKIN' KNOCKIN' ME DOWN!" Mario yelled from the ground.

The crate slowly fell open, and it revealed a load of food, and a large, very comfy looking, lazy boy recliner.

"I thought I'd bring some food, seeing as how you never do anything right." Bowser said, ironically if you think about it.

"Most wise, your lordship." Kammy said, rejoining Bowser's side.

Mario could only look at the food and smile. "Th-thank you ever so much-a Bowser!" Naught would he slave himself over a hot stove.

"All well and good then, but I have one thing to say to you Mario." Bowser said, turning towards the plumber, who regained his footing once again.

"Yes?"

"If ANYONE touches MY LAZYBOY, I will SKULL-FUCK their charred remains, and RAPE their SOULS with MY FLAMES while they rot in the pits of HELL for all eternity!" Bowser roared, actually scaring the plumber for a moment.

"…o-okay Bowser." Mario said, swallowing some saliva, nervously. Apparently, he knew not to get in the way of Bowser and his happy-chair.

"Oh, and I invited some guests." Bowser said, smiling.

"Oh, I see, alls-a well and good then… wait… who did you-a invite?" Mario asked, crossing his arms.

"Just a few guys, don't worry, you know them."

"Who?" Mario asked, tapping his foot now.

"…Well, maybe I invited…"

Just then, from a golden glow, a figure formed in a flash. A very tall man, covered in dark armor, almost as dark as his skin, as his bright red hair was held back by a headdress.

"Ganondorf!" Mario asked, shocked as he saw the figure. "Wait… which one?"

"The one from Twilight Princess, he was bored in the castle one day, so I went back in time and borrowed him for a day." Bowser said, shrugging.

"So, there's a party out here? I should send some Darknut…" Ganon began.

"Oh, don't be such a bummer Ganon!" Bowser said, slapping him on the back, not wanting to let him know he dies in the near future… "Hey! The Hero of Time is here."

"What! Where is he?" Ganondorf stated, before running off in search of his old enemy.

"Mama mia… Bowser, who else?" Mario asked, facepalming himself.

"I sent out a few invites, I'll tell you who I invited when they get here." Bowser said with a laugh.

This party just got a hell of a lot less safe.


	6. The Party Starts

**This is where the action really starts, and the arrival of characters is not a focal point.**

**Beware, ere' be monsters... and humor XDD.**

* * *

Chapter 6: The Party Starts

Mario was laying back in some grass, finally glad to not having to cook, as many party guests swarmed to get some food.

However, The Hero of Time wasn't hungry, and was back in the tent with all the videogames and TV.

Ganon trudged his way over to the tent, he stomped his foot in the ground at the entrance of the tent; looking at his, now older, past rival.

Link slowly looked back, with a 'what the hell do you want' kind of look.

Although no one was there, one could tell that metaphorically, lightning was dashing between their eyes.

"Punk kid."

"Old wretch."

"Little brat."

"Gerudian Trash."

Ganon looked at his old rival and smiled. "You've grown up, good to see."

"The feeling is not mutual." Link said, slowly turning back towards the TV.

"Hmm, I wonder how the Hero of this time would…"

In what was less than a single hundredth of a second, The Hero of Time had withdrew his blade, and leaped towards Ganon, and held the Biggoron Sword to his neck. "You ruined my life, if you even try to do that here, the end will greet you before you even know you died."

Ganon was speechless, shivering, completely shocked by the power this Link now commanded. "Do you understand me, old man?"

Ganon gritted his teeth, and turned, slowly leaving the tent, not saying a word.

Then again, silence speaks volumes.

"He never learns does he?" The Hero of Time asked, sitting back down, setting the Biggoron sword down.

Away from the old flames of past enemies, to the massive crowd forming around the food, everyone tried to get what they wanted before Kirby or Mario got there first. They both could eat food faster than anyone had ever seen, so they wanted to at least try some of the food before it was gone.

The Link of this world sat at the edge of the water, looking out at the Lake, drinking some milk from a nearby ranch. It was fairly good stuff.

Ilia was off getting something, he hadn't heard exactly what in the crowd, he nearly lost his arm getting what he got, which wasn't much.

However, he heard sand sinking behind him, so he decided to turn around and see who it was. To his displeasure, it was not an angel.

Instead, it was a fairly tall, blond haired man, wearing green, with pointed ears and a two handed sword. "Yo."

"Uh, hello…" Link said, he was always fairly shy, and never really said too much, and usually just spoke with those he knew.

"I'm a friend of Mario's, and yours too, so just relax." The Hero of Time said, sitting down, not disclosing his identity.

"Oh, I see… well, nice to meet you." Link said, sitting back on the shoreline.

"Nice to meet you as well." The other Link said, laying back in the sand. "So… was that your girl I saw you with earlier?"

"Yeah, her name's Ilia." Link said, blushing slightly, only because the stranger had referred to Ilia as 'his girl'. He was never much for titles, but truth be told, he kind of liked how it felt.

"Ilia… nice name, nice name… I also saw that blue woman as well."

"That's Midna, she's one of my best friends, she was a big help on my journey."

"Ah… damn, what I wouldn't have given to have had a few more friends like that…" The Hero of Time said, letting out a chuckle, as he looked at the sky.

"What do you mean?" Link asked, slightly oblivious, only due to the fact he used past tense speaking.

"Oh, it's nothing. I'll get going, I'll talk to you later kid." The Hero of Time said, getting up, and slowly walking away, waving. Link waved back, looking out at the lake, slightly confused, but having enjoyed the conversation; he felt like he knew that person from somewhere.

As The Hero of Time walked towards the food, deciding to get something finally, in the distance he could hear the sounds of battle.

Collins swiped his sword at Talo as he dashed to the side, creating a tear in Talo's Haori. Both warriors were now bare-chested due to their constant fighting.

"You bastard!" Talos yelled, running towards Collins, and thrusting his massive claymore directly t him.

Collins blocked the hit, but Talo had spun his blade, making it like a drill, and caused Collins to stumble back a slight bit, Talo then took the liberty to take a large step forward, and kick Collins in the gut, causing him to fall backwards.

Talo's samurai ponytail was gone, and now his hair was flowing freely, as Collins had cut the band that kept it up. "How about you give up, you're done and you know it?"

Collins slowly got back up, wiping some spit that had escaped his mouth off of his jaw-line. "I've only begun to fight!"

With that, Collins charged Talo, and swiped at him twice with his sword, then jumped up into the air with a spun, sending a kick down, greeting his head.

The battle was not yet over.

Back down near the food, Goombario was tearing down at some shroomsteak Bowser had brought, and next to him was Koops and Kooper, who just kept to some of the pizza Bowser had purchased.

The Hero of Time stepped forward, and took a piece of pizza, and a glass of milk, recognizing it as probably the stuff the descendants of Lon Lon Ranch were producing.

He turned, and inadvertently bumped into a ghostly woman, who was quick to close her fan, and give him a fairly intimidating death glare.

"M-my apologies," Link said, bowing his head, knowing that she, being here, was not to be taken lightly, "Please forgive me".

"…You are forgiven, count yourself lucky." The Lady said, letting out a chuckle, slowly moving past The Hero of Time.

"Yeah." A Tall, scrawny man in purple said, a red mark still on his face, as he wrung out his hat. "You're real lucky friend."

Link just walked past the purple man, not taking the time to rub Waluigi's nose in it.

However, little distance from himself, was the girl… Ilia, he remembered. She was apparently waiting to get something from a rather crowded table.

Now, The Hero of Time was not related to this world's Link, nor the Hero of Winds, but the bonds between Links was a brotherly bond, So he slowly paced his way over to the lone girl and asked, "A little crowded?"

"Yeah… I mean, I don't think I'd have any problems getting through there, but I mean…" She said, sort of embarrassed. "I want to at least try and be polite."

"What was it that you wanted?"

"Just two of the apples over on the table over that way." Ilia said, pointing to one of the tables stocked with the food the Mushroom Kingdomers had supplied.

This Link looked at the crowd, and saw the only main obstacle, the gluttonous Wario.

"Just a second." The Hero of Time said, smiling, weaving his way into the crowd. Wario was devouring almost everything in sight, angering various other people there. Lakilester threatened to toss a spiney into his mouth, but the threat was hollow, as he didn't want to have his girlfriend worry about him if he got jailed for it; her being over at her grandparents for the week and all.

Link however, got an idea from this threat, seeing a Fireflower on a table of Mario's produce, he grabbed the whole thing, only a few sprinkles of pollen needed to make an incredibly powerful spice, and shoved the whole thing into Wario's mouth as he attempted to devour a poor turkey leg. "Eat up big guy!"

Wario swallowed, then grinned at the Hero of Time, but within a few moments, he had turned beet red. He began to fan his mouth, but was in vain, as his tongue, literally, caught on fire. Wario yelled and screamed frantically, running out of the crowd, waving his arms wildly, before jumping into the lake. A few moments later, a large continuous steam cloud could be seen rising above where he landed in the water.

Link proceeded to grab two of the apples on the table, two of the finer red ones, and walked over to the girl, still waiting to get into the crowd; "These are for you, I believe."

"Oh, thank you, you really didn't have to." She said smiling, "And thanks for dealing with Wario, I was going to punch that ass out if he'd eaten these."

"Why only that?" The Hero of Time asked, curiously. There was plenty of appealing food on the table.

"Well, I'm not very hungry, and Link's always liked apples." She said, looking over to where he was sitting.

The Hero of Time chuckled, "Yeah, he's a good kid, you make sure to keep him out of trouble." The Hero said, waving as he walked off.

"Oh, I will, and thanks again!" Ilia said, walking off with what little she'd wanted.

The Hero of Time grabbed the bottle he snagged from the table, and downed it in what was a few gulps.

"Hey, Gaylord!" Wario shouted, having emerged on land in near the tent Link was heading back to. "Where do you think you're going?"

Link did not like innuendo that addressed him as gay. He was married, he had a daughter at home, and they were at his inlaws for the weekend. He tossed the bottle in the air slightly, only enough for it to spin a good few times and allow him to catch it by the narrow open end.

"I'm going to…"

Was all Wario could say, before the bottle collided with the side of his head, having been thrown at a speed great enough to knock his fat ass out.

"I'm not gay." Link said, walking by the unconscious Wario.

Along the shoreline, Mario was wearing his Isle Delfino get up, sunglasses included. Next to him was the Princess Peach, enjoying another nice and peaceful day. In the distance, he could hear something in the water.

"Brother! Come swimming! The water is-a great!" Luigi said, floating on his back.

"Yeah, Peach come on in!" Daisy said, next to submerge, next to Luigi.

"Why not Mario?" Peach asked, nudging his arm.

"Yeah Mario." Bowser said, emerging in swimtrunks with flames all over them. "It's fun."

Mario was a bit confused, he sat up and looked at Bowser. "You want me to have-a fun? …are you high or something Bowser?" Mario asked, looking at his arch rival.

"Hey, I can be a very fun and laid back guy when YOU AREN'T RUINING MY PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE KINGDOM!" Bowser said, crossing his arms.

"Alright, besides, I'm sure Lucario wouldn't mind additional space with-a more people in the water."

"…Wait, you invited Lucario?" Bowser asked, surprised.

"Yes, he was a member of brawl, the only two I didn't invite were Ness and Lucas, as I was told they were at-a camp or something." Mario said, shrugging.

"Well… I may have…" Bowser said, muttering something.

"What?" Mario asked, not hearing what Bowser said.

"Well, I maybe… sorta…" Bowser said, muttering again.

"What is it Bowser?"

"I INVITED MEWTWO."

Everyone was stunned silent for a minute.

"You're-a fucking me right, if so, you're doing it wrong." Mario said, shaking his head, knowing what would unfold when they arrived.

"Sorry, we made a good team back in Melee."

"You BLEW UP the old Melee building!"

"You teamed up Doctor you! That wasn't fair!" Bowser said, crossing his arms. "Besides, let's not worry about that, let's just get some swimming in."

"Fine… let me just get my…" Mario began, before he was lifted up by Bowser, who handed him his swim trunks.

"I found these in one of your boxes." Bowser said, walking into the shallow waters.

"Why were you-a going through my stuff?" Mario asked, wondering what Bowser was doing.

"No real reason." Bowser said, securing his arms around Mario's ankles. "Alright…"

"SPLISH… SPLASH… TAKE A…" Bowser began, swinging Mario back and forth, "BATH!"

With that, Bowser tossed Mario a great distance out over the lake.

"WAAAHAHAHAHAAA!" Mario yelled out, flying through the air, and landing with a massive splash.

"Oops… oh well, he can swim… most of the time… oh well, I'm sure he'll be fine!" Bowser said, jumping into the air.

"CANON BALL!"

Luigi and Daisy dove underwater to escape being submerged, and Daisy ran back to her tent to find her clothes, and to escape the wave.

Prince Ralis and Ruto however got to see the massive wave form in front of them.

"Thank the goddesses we can breathe underwater." Ruto said, smiling.

Prince Ralis had started running however. "Yeah! But that wall of water is going to hit us like concrete!"

With that, the sage Ruto looked up at the wall of water as it was about to engulf her.

"Son of a Bit…"


	7. Friends, Women, and Pain

**Oh my god, a not totally rediculously long new chapter time for me, I must be dying XDD.**

**I tried to make this chapter very funny, I hope you found it that way. I also introduced some characters in some not boring ways! ^^**

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Chapter 7: Friends, Women, and Pain

Daisy was clinging to a nearby tree along the Lake Hylia shore, (No, there aren't trees in this area, but seriously, if Lake Hylia was as big as it should be realistically, I'm pretty sure there'd be a few) looking down at the fall between her and the ground.

She let out a sigh, as much as she hated being in any form of distress, she had to acknowledge she needed help.

"Luigi, could you help get me down?" She asked, in a normal voice, trying to act casual.

Luigi was slumped over against a rock, however, hearing Daisy's voice caused him to climb to his feet. "ugh what was that, Daisy?"

"I said, can you help be down from here dumbass!" She said, in her patented annoyed yelling voice… seriously, it is patented. One time she used it on her father and stated that it should be patented, well, her father took it literally in hopes he'd never hear it again.

Whether that worked or not, was never proven.

However, back to Luigi, he staggered around for a bit. Regaining what bits of him were intact, and making sure he only had a few concussions and some compound fractures. Climbing atop a rock, he leaped up into the air, grabbing onto the tree, and extending one arm for Daisy. "Climb on, Princess" he said, trying to act suave.

It didn't work, but Daisy couldn't help but adore the cuteness of the younger plumber. She climbed onto his back, and held on. "Alright Casanova, get me down from here."

With that, Luigi dropped from the tree, and landed without any problems. He looked about as he let Daisy down to survey the wreckage of Bowser's mighty wave.

Only the lower beaches where several people were swimming got hit. Those up on the cliffs where the tents and food was were fine. Many of the tables on the lower beaches were toppled… as were those that were occupying them.

Peach however, as she was swept through the fast waters grabbed hold of Sushi, and was able to ride out the massive wave.

Mario was on a small island, connected by two wooden bridges on each side, with his head wedged in the sand and legs flailing in the air. He tried desperately to force himself out of the sand, but it would take a bit of time.

However, added inspiration was given when a colorful bird landed on his upside-down backside and began pecking.

Mario swayed back and forth, kicking wildly, until he finally forced himself out of the sand and landed on his ass. As he looked around, he reached for his hat on the ground and remounted it upon his head.

With that, he shook his head and smiled, it could've been worse.

Then that damn bird started picking at his head.

So, after a few moments of tolerating it, did the sensible thing.

He grabbed it, held it by its stomach, and threw it like a paper airplane.

Mario watched as the bird took flight… and also watched as the bird caught fire due to the great speed he'd thrown the bird. Apparently Mario underestimated his own strength… Oh well, Mario slowly paced his way back over the wooden bridge back to where he was before he was submerged in water, then sand.

In the distance however, a much less relaxing plan was going underway.

"Wario," Waluigi said, looking over at his friend and long time ally, "Me thinks that the game tent is empty… perhaps we could liberate some of the goods, and head to the nearest pawns shop…"

"Waluigi, you need to know when to appreciate a good time, haha!" Wario said, lying back on a pool chair Wario had stole, then brought here. It was your average white chair, with an adjustable back, that was usually seen around pools. "Just relax, and worry about smiting peasants later."

While Wario knew when to quit, Waluigi wasn't such an easy going customer, he slowly climbed up, and made his way towards the tent.

Once inside, he went towards the items of most value, examining which items he could snag with him and run.

Just as he was about to snag a pricey videogame console, a voice echoed out behind him.

"Those things are not yours."

Waluigi turned to see a man, not one he'd seen arrive before, standing at the entrance to the tent. The man wore white robes, with bright lavender trimming. His skin was a shade of white, but had a certain tan to it. He wore a straw cap over his head, so that all Waluigi could see was a strong jawline.

"ehhh, and what are you going to do about it tough guy!" Waluigi said, turning around, and trying to intimidate the man by staring down at him.

Waluigi's height didn't impress the man… he didn't even move. "You shouldn't take what doesn't belong to you."

"You think you can do something about it boy-scout! Go back to your mother, I can smell the fear on you." Waluigi said, sneering as he taunted the man.

"I fear …no man." Was all the white clad man said to Waluigi.

"Oh yeah, well why don't you show me wh…"

In a split second, Waluigi noticed a bang of his hair fall to the ground, sliced so that three pieces fell to the ground, and all the Waluigi could hear was the sheathing of a sword.

Waluigi was so paralyzed with fear, he could barely breathe.

"Leave, now."

With that, Waluigi scrambled out of the tent as fast as he could, intent to keep to himself the rest of the day.

As Waluigi ran for his life, Mario slowly paced into the tent, looking for either a mushroom, or a beer to help get rid of his 'my head was just forced into the ground' headache, when he saw his old acquaintance. "Jack! It'sa great to see you-a made it!"

The samurai removed his straw hat, and smiled as he shook the bold plumber's hand. "Likewise friend, how have you been all this time?"

"You know, keeping the plumbing of-a the Mushroom Kingdom running, adventuring when I am a-needed, you know how it works. I'd rather work and long-a day than work an underhanded, repetitive, and boring one."

"I agree completely, my good friend. As for me, I have been leading the fight against the remainder of Aku's forces in my own time. Aku may have been stopped, but I will not rest until I am sure my people are safe."

Mario and Samurai Jack had met many moons ago, whilst Jack was searching for a way home, he found a warp vortex in the pit of hate, which was Aku's Domain. After a long and arduous battle, Jack was cast into the vortex, but was whorled through dimensions. He luckily arrived back in his home, just at the time Jack wished. After slaying Aku, his sword was no longer needed, and dissolved into ashes after Aku had passed on. And with the beginning of the war against the minions of Aku, Jack needed a new blade.

The sages that forged the sword of Jack's world were long since dead, but through long sequences of meditation new sages had visioned a world with objects of incredible purity, the Power Stars of Mario's world.

It was taxing, but after a great many days, a portal was readied for Jack. Wandering through the world, he was quick to meet Mario, and the two became fast friends.

Mario aided in Jack's forging a new blade, and Jack improved Mario's sword and hammer skills.

"Then please, let me get you a drink, I know-a you normally don't partake, but it's a party! Also, you'd better-a do it now, before Captain Falcon arrives."

"The loud obnoxious one with the fiery fist that was at your day-of-birth celebration?" Jack asked, looking at Mario.

Mario could only nod, and place two fingers upon the bridge of his nose, that was one birthday party he did not want to remember. What was the saddest part, he didn't embarrass himself, which was usually the case when someone didn't want to remember such events.

"I see… well then, maybe I shall… still, why did you invite that man?"

"He is-a on the list of many competitors in a friendly combat get-a together we host, I felt it would be very rude of me not to." Mario said with a sigh.

"Ah, very kind of you, considering what he did to your cake… and your floor… and your house." Jack said, stifling a chuckle.

Mario could only smile as well, "Yes, Captain Falcon has a tendency to bring-a out the… that in people."

The two started to laugh, and walk their way to the nearest container of alcoholic refreshments, while far in the distance, atop the cliff, Collins and Talo continued their battle.

Talo panted, his sword slung over his shoulder, everything above his waist having been torn, taken, or sliced off. Even the band that kept his samurai tail had been severed, so his long brown hair blew around behind him.

Collins was still in his shirt, but that's all that remained above his torso. His headband had been sliced and fallen off, his jacket was being mauled, so he slid it off. Collins sword was impaled in the ground, but he quickly pulled it out, and charged towards Talo.

As Collins got close, Talo slammed his sword into the ground, which caused the ground under the sword to be crushed as well. Collins had dipped to the side, and struck Talo's forehead with the pommel of his sword, then kicked him in the chest.

Talo quickly recovered from the strikes, and ran towards Collins, intend to beat him until he begged for mercy.

In the distance, Beth let out a sigh as he watched those two go at it. "Malo, how long has it been?"

"I don't know… anywhere between half an hour to an hour. Those two just don't stop do they?" Malo said, admiring some of the wildflowers around the portion of the cliffs they were at, making a mental note to plant some in the front of his palazzo in Castle Town.

Beth shook her head as she watched, but she heard footsteps approach then stop behind her. She was eager to think it was some guy taking a nice long look, so she slowly turned, ready to slap some unfortunate perv.

However, she saw a woman wearing white robes with orange secondary coloring, and a pair of orange pants, with white designs on them, suited to a priestess. A hood covered her black hair, and piercing blue-ish green eyes. She wore sandals on her feet, with some high reaching white socks that traveled up into the pants. At her side she carried a fairly tall staff, one painted and decorated in a beige-ish gold color, and the other a blue-ish purple, symbolizing light and darkness.

"Luda!" Beth said, smiling, glad someone actually sane decided to come to the party.

"Hello Beth." Luda said, turning, so Beth could see her soft, gentle, and warm features. With a heartwarming smile, Luda slowly bowed her head. "How are you?"

"I'm doing fine, but I'm worried sick ABOUT THOSE IDIOTS UP THERE!" Beth started to say to Luda, but started to shout up at Collins and Talo, but she knew neither of them would hear.

"Are those two fighting again?" Luda said, sounding a bit saddened by hearing that. She never did like fighting, and those two fighting was even worse.

"Yeah, those idiots never listen to reason, if I was in the right mind I'd… Luda, follow me." Beth said, smiling a polite and cheerful smile… which usually means someone was about to be instilled with the fear of god.

In the distance, three teenagers walked towards the shoreline, sitting in a few chairs they dragged along. One was slightly shorter than the other, with slicked back hair and a confident disposition. He happened to be wearing jeans, some sneakers, and a black shirt, with red scrawled type on his shirt that says "Laser Cannon Deth Sentence".

The next was a giant, with a buzzed haircut, and a slight unibrow. He is sporting a deep green Jacket, some jeans, some tennis shoes, and a t-shirt that had the picture of a deep green fearsome creatures, wielding two tridents with purple tips that radiated lightning, upon a blue background.

The last wore what was almost a cross between a windsock cap and a bandana on his head, over some shaggy cut black hair that went to his neck. He appeared a bit shy, but kindhearted as well; a deep red shirt with "Dethklok" written upon the front covered his torso, while he also wore shorts, and some tennis shoes.

The three lounged out in front of the lake, with a grand machine that magically seemed to dispense cans of soda, while looking to be made of your average everyday scrap.

"Ahh… this is the life." The shorter one began, "ain't that right, Double-D?"

"I couldn't agree with you more, Eddy." Double-D stated, lounging back and sipping on a soda, it was a nice hot day, and no doubt the three of them would be in the water later. "What do you think, Ed?"

"Yup, it's like when Bartrov reached the gas-oasis in Tales of the Lonely Dump Truck." The large one, named Ed stated, smiling cheerfully showing his inner innocence.

The three relaxed as they sat upon the shores of Lake Hylia.

Atop the cliffs, Talo and Collins were at an impass as they tried to overpower each other. Their blades had met, and they were now pushing with all their might trying to triumph over the other.

"Accept… Defeat!" Collins said, wielding his longsword with both hands, holding his own against Talo.

"I believe this is what they call bullying!" Talo said, wielding his mighty claymore with one hand, his other arm behind him.

However, Beth, Malo, and Luda slowly approached the two, sneaking up to the two fighters, as their blades sparked when they moved.

Luda took stance behind Talo, and Beth stood next to Collins, and Malo stood and watched.

Beth signaled to Luda, who withdrew her staff, and then Beth began to slowly pull back fingers.

Three…

Two…

One…

WHAM!

With that, Beth threw a powerful right hook right into Collins jaw, more specifically on his right side, so he was sent a few feet away, then to the ground on his left.

However, to ensure no one got hurt, they had to strike them both. At the same time as Beth's punch, Luda spun her staff, and smashed Talo in the back of the head, however, slightly to his right, so Talo fell to his left, opposite of Collins.

Both of them let out yells of pain, as they fell to the ground. Collins placing his hand over his sore jaw, and Talo on his knees, forehead on the ground, with both hands on the back of his head.

Luda felt bad, as she looked at the two of them, and wished she could help…

But Beth grabbed her by the hand and started dragging her off. "Don't get all soft on them, or they'll just keep doing it."

Malo was currently dying of laughter, staggering and limping around like a drunk, following behind Luda only after using his pictobox to snag a prime photo of their pain.

"guhhh… Talo… you need to learn to punch from Beth… she punches better than you do."

"nnnnh Collins… learn to use a blunt weapon like your woman… damn she can use that staff."

At least the fighting was over for now, for those two.

Mario, Luigi, Jack, and Samus were all enjoying some beers down by the shore. Mario and his brother still in thier swimming attire, and about to get back in the water; Samus in some casual wear, a t-shirt that fit snug on her, but not too snug. She also had some shorts on that went just below her knees. Jack had folded up his robe, and had every intention of going into the water as soon as he finished his beer.

Mario and Jack each had one beer, neither of them drank much at all. Luigi was on his second, but saving the rest for later, Samus was on her fifth, she wasn't even drunk, she could hold her liquor damn well by any standard.

Jack however caused the most shock and awe; not being of the mushroom kingdom, or any other land where canned goods were available, he didn't understand the simple 'pull the tab' concept. Instead, he saw the rim of the can, and got creative.

With a single swift slash of the sword, he lopped the lip clean off, and set it aside, surprising almost everyone around him. Then, he began to drink from the severed can, after his first sip however, he pressed against the rim, not enough to cut himself though. "This is most dangerous" he stated, as he went back for a second series of gulps.

Luigi set his beer down in the sand next to his towel, not wanting to have to go risking putting it in some cooler. Most people were courteous (or sanitary) and wouldn't do something like that. But if Captain Falcon were to arrive… the beer would vanish.

Mario, seeing his brother's plight, focused some magical power into his hand, and snapped his finger. As he did that, a ball of elemental ice shot out into the air, arched, and landed right on his brother's beer, freezing it.

The Brothers and Jack then stood up, and looked out into the lake.

"Do any of-a you's want to see how can-a jump the farthest?" Luigi asked, looking at the others.

"Yeah, let'sa do it!" Mario said, pumping his fist into the air.

"A great idea, however, I will warn you, I know how to jump-good!" Jack said, grinning.

The three of them started to pace their way back, stepping away from Samus, as so they wouldn't bother her, and risk a vicious ass kicking.

They asked Samus to count to three for them, and she was happy to, she was really a kind person as long as you didn't piss her off.

As she signaled for them to run, the three began their charge to the shore.

Jack ran straight, very fast, ready to pounce out into the water.

Mario and Luigi prepared by doing their classic three jump technique, which they could use in conjunction with a long jump at the end for maximum distance. Mario thought about using his magic to cheat, but decided against it.

Soon enough, the three soared out over the lake, and landed in the water.

Once they'd submerged, the results were visible.

Jack jumped just short of Mario, who jumped just short of Luigi. Luigi, the man in green, Twinkle-Toes, had won.

While Luigi cheered, and the other two began to taunt him, in the distance, Bowser was still in the water, watching them, planning some nefarious evilness that would no doubt prove his 'One-Hundred Percent Final Boss'-ness.

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**Hey everybody, make sure to review ^^**

**Also, where is all the food Mario was preparing? ...You'll see X )**


	8. Relaxing in Mayhem

**"Burning, now I bring you hell." - Hell, Disturbed**

**I couldn't describe this chapter better myself ^^.**

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Chapter 8: Relaxing… in Mayhem

The time was just past noon, and the day was already a hot one. Many of the party goers who were mentioned earlier were now in the water.

The Mario Brothers could be seen out in the water, the princesses not too far, just on the shore.

The Hero of Time was nearby taking long dives underwater, to both escape the heat and find a bit of peace in this raging mad house. Link and Ilia had returned to the area they were before Bowser's tidal wave, which they had fled from.

A massive crowd formed around the videogame tent, as many BBQ goers watched who kicked who's ass, and bets were placed.

In the distance, on a small island out in the lake, a small fire was burning. Most likely from Bowser's laughing at Mario.

Suddenly, the speakers erupted in a familiar voice of the true final boss.

"Cower in fear weaklings!" Bowser called out, standing on a small stage near where all the food was gathered, which, unlike when it was spread out, formed a massive heap. "For Bowser's First Eat-Till-You-Weap Eat off is about to commence!"

This attracted many brawlers, the offer of free food and as much as you could eat… and bragging rights.

The Mario brothers ran to the area of competition, as did Fox and Falco, who arrived just a few minutes earlier. Ganon approached the stage, hoping to earn some respect as the Lord of Darkness. Madame Flurry joined the competition, hoping she could win just for the sake of fun. Talo had also recovered from Luda's strike, and joined the contest. Lastly, the three Ed's showed up, ready to down their share of food.

Kirby was also a part of the contest, but there was an agreement that no super-human abilities could be used to aid in the consumption of food. So Kirby, while being able to eat and not suffer from getting full, was at a speed disadvantage.

Bowser had some help in setting up the food, Jack Blumeire and Impa helped set up all the food, and were able to do it fairly quickly.

"Alright you pathetic little whelps…"

"Can we just eat-a now, bowser?" Mario said, interrupting his rival.

"Shut up before I incinerate that precious cap of yours!" Bowser said, which made Mario completely silent. "Now, there are two rules: One, no super human powers to speed yourself up. Your natural speed however is not considered a super-human power, its merely your abilities. Second: Don't mess with your challengers, now, while I originally had this rule at 'DO' mess with your challengers, all you cowards made me change it." Bowser said, dismayed that his tournament of sorts was now much more fair than he would've liked. He only added the first rule due to Kirby's presence, if he could use his power, Kirby would eat all the food almost instantaneously.

"Now can we eat, I'm starved." Falco said, rubbing his stomach.

"I will fry the next person who says that!" Bowser said, stomping his foot in the ground, making sure Falco knew that Bowser would naught regret adding some fried chicken to the menu.

Once everyone was silent, Bowser began.

"One… Two… Three… Have at it, gluttons!" Bowser said, pounding a huge gong.

With that, the competitors went to quick work. Mario was downing dishes left and right, followed by Ed, Edd, and Eddy, who were downing food at their own paces.

Double D eating quickly, but orderly, so he was the slowest of the three.

Eddy ate wildly, but paced himself as he wasn't invincible.

Ed just shoved what he could in his mouth, Bowser cursed and threatened to disqualify him and serve him on a platter after eating several plates.

Luigi was eating fairly well, eating at a good pace.

Talo gorged himself as he usually did when he ate, eating large portions in almost no time at all.

Madame Flurry was a slower of the eaters, but she could easily put down whatever was given to her.

Kirby was just behind Mario in terms of speed, but wouldn't get full for a good long while.

Fox and Falco were more a less competing against each other, but easily keeping up the paces with all the other eaters.

Ganondorf was also one of the slower ones, but he could down an entire meal with large bites, so it evened out.

All in all, it was a pretty breakneck paced eat-off. Rather challenging, as all the eaters were very skilled.

However, Bowser decided to have some particular fun.

Ed aside, who had eaten several plates, every eater just had more food poured onto one plate. Mario's plate was 'treated' with some special laxatives. Bowser would achieve victory this day!

The eat-off trailed on, and Fox and Falco were the first to fall, followed then by Luigi, who had eaten an amazing amount of food before finally calling it quits.

Madame Flurry stopped when she finally got full, not wanting to push it, and not wanting to risk 'stretch clouds' as she called it, which would probably be her stretch-marks. It was shocking how much food she ate just to be full.

Ganondorf stuck it out there for a long time, finally calling it quits after eating nearly twice of what both Falco and Fox ate combined.

Talo dropped out a minute after Ganondorf, staying in just long enough to best the Great Lord of Evil in an eating contest, and not explode.

Kirby, Mario, and the Ed's were now neck and neck.

Bowser decided to step it up, and added some Fire Flower spice to some Curry that was prepared for this round. Once it was served to them, they all began to eat it.

Mario was phased slightly, but kept going. Kirby was entirely unaffected, but the eds were not so fortunate.

The fireflower was the hottest thing the eds had ever eaten, Double D had saved himself the scalding by sniffing it first, and just dropping out there. Eddy stated that Double D was just being a wuss, before grabbing a bite. Ed had just emptied the whole bowl into his mouth, before saying "Mmm, almost as good as gravy".

However, Eddy quickly felt the burn, as his mouth erupted in flames, and ran full speed to the edge of the cliff, and jumped into the lake, where a large cloud of steam could be seen rising from.

The fireflower took its toll on Ed, turning him beet red, and repeated the process, with a much bigger steam cloud.

Bowser grinned at his last two combatants. "Alright you fatasses, only two more plates to go, whoever finishes it first wins!"

Mario picked up the pace to the point where he was inhaling the food. Eating as fast as humanly possible.

Kirby did the same, but his short arms held him back, unable to eat quite as quickly as the pasta-bellied Mario.

Mario finished the first plate, then moments after that, with a slam of his utencils, he raised his gloved hand as the victor; two fingers up signifying peace.

Everyone cheered for the amazing spectacle that was Bowser's Eat-till-you-weep eat off.

Even Bowser let out his signature laugh, inviting Mario up to the stage to take a bow.

Mario did just that "Thank you, Pizano", he said as he reached the stage and let out an 'oh yeah!' as he slowly bowed.

However, he could feel his stomach wasn't too happy with that… or him… or Bowser's surprise.

Mario quickly stood up, and ran to the quickest porta-crapper in range… which was a good distance away.

The door slammed behind Mario as he charged into it, and various unpleasant sound effects could be heard under Mario's cries of terror. "Wahahahahahoooh!" and many other were uttered by Mario, as his system was entirely purged by the evil Bowser.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bowser said, atop the stage, as he cued a death metal cover of his theme song from when he invaded Peach's Castle (Super Mario 64), to play, as he did a victory dance on stage. "I win, you stupid plumber! After so many years, I win one! Have fun in there, and keep that control stick smokin' now!"

Everyone was a bit surprised, but a lot of people actually found it funny for several reasons. Whether it was Bowser's pettiness, the creativity of Mario's defeat, or just the fact that he did something like that, it was all giving people a reason to laugh and enjoy the spectacle.

The Hero of Time was on his ass, laughing hysterically.

Anyways, after that spectacle, a series of new guests had arrived, which arrived V.I.A. brawl teleport. A string of four youths, and a woman in her mid-twenties stepped forward.

Mario being… 'preoccupied' at the moment, Luigi decided to greet them. "Hello-a there, how'sa you doing?"

"Uh, hey, this is the party right?" The one boy asked, fairly wild brown hair atop his head, and a black jacket and white shirt upon his torso, while sporting black pants and shoes.

"Exact-ta-ly, who are you?" Luigi asked, just checking to see who these guests were.

"I'm Squall, this is Rinoa, Zell, Selphie, and Sensei… err, Quistis." Squall said, as each of his friends and allies stepped forward.

"I'm pleased to meet all of-a you, please, enjoy yourselves." Luigi said, nodding. As they all stepped forward, luckily they brought some food, as half of it was eaten in that revenge plot by Bowser, and Luigi was worried there wasn't enough to go around for everyone.

Squall just nodded, as Rinoa grabbed him by the arm and dragged him towards the crowd that was resurrounding the videogame tent. The others then decided to follow a bit behind him, only to see what the crowd was about.

Moments after that, Mario was just about finished in the small one person trench room.

"Moto' Bene." Mario muttered, slowly standing up.

However, just then, a massive ship appeared just above the shores of Barbeque, shocking and surprising everyone as it came out of the Brawl teleport.

Luckilly though, it hadn't knocked Mario over. "Mama mia, don't-a scare me like that."

However, something else came out of a Brawl teleport.

A bike suddenly formed, and wizzed out of the teleport and break neck speed, turning and clipping the porta-crapper… sending it over a cliff and down to one of the shores below… half stuck in sand and upside down.

…That was not a good time to be Mario.

The ship rose up a bit, and stayed there, and the occupants left. The biker examined the area, and slowly stopped his bike, and parked it up against the stage on the shore.

Luigi went over to help his brother out of his torment, as Bowser busted a gut. The Hero of Time took it upon himself to introduce these guests to the insane party going on here.

He noticed a young blond haired boy and girl, followed by a black haired youth, a tall sophisticated looking brown haired gentleman, and… a playboy bunny in black armor.

"Hello there, welcome to the barbeque, I'm Link, The Hero of Time. Our host is a bit… busy at the moment, it's great to see you made it here." He said, extending his hand.

"Charmed." The sophisticated man said, shaking The Hero of Time's hand. "The name's Balthier."

"I'm Vaan." The blonde haired boy said, stepping forward, nodding. "This is Penelo…"

"I can introduce myself, Vaan." Penelo said, shoving him slightly. "Pleased to meet you." She said, to the Link in front of her.

"Nice to meet you, Vaan, Penelo; and who are you three?" The Hero of Time said, turning to the last three.

"I am Larsa, a pleasure to meet you." The black haired boy said, obviously some sort of nobility wherever he is from.

"I'm Fran, the pleasure's all mine." The playboy bunny said, stepping forward, seeming to go off by herself and examine the party.

"I'm Princess Ashe, it's nice to meet you. " Ashe said, extending her hand.

"A pleasure to meet you." Link said, bowing his head, and shaking her hand, not wanting to be too formal. He's been in service to the Kingdom of Hyrule, and knows how Zelda dreds formaility, so he assumed this princess would be similar.

"So, what do you got to do around here?" Vaan asked, looking around. Penelo glared at him a bit, wishing he'd be more polite.

"There's the videogame tent up there on that ridge, there's this giant lake, perfect for a hot day like this. There's plenty of food, so just go and enjoy yourself, it's a party." The Hero of Time said, slowly walking away from the group, waving. "See you all around."

They did the same, and seemed to split up and scatter. While Link looked for the renegade biker.

He finally found him around the food, looking out over the Lake. "Hey there."

"Oh, Hello, I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself, I'm Cloud." He said, without too much emotion, which Link didn't really mind.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Link, The Hero of Time, I thought I'd just greet you, since our hosts are a bit busy."

"Rather polite of you… but one thing, haven't noticed anyone strange here, have you?"

"Buddy, you're asking the wrong person. We're all fucking weird, is there a particular weirdo you're looking for?" The Hero of Time asked, between chuckles.

"Long white hair, and an even longer sword." Cloud said, seeming to remember the person vividly behind his eyes.

"Nope, no one like that, but if I see him, I'll give him a holler… wait, I know who it is, you're looking for Sephiroth." Link said, chuckling, being rather familiar with several worlds. He'd learned of Sephiroth from Mario, and several of their adventures through the worlds.

"You know him? Cloud asked, shocked.

"I know of him." Link said, slowly turning around. "Don't worry, I'll tell him you're around if I see him."

Cloud seemed to nod, as he went back to looking at the Lake from atop the ridge he was on, apart from everyone else.

Away from The Hero of Time. Luigi, Peach, Daisy, Rosalina, Goombario, koops and Kooper tried to help Mario clean up from his hazardous encounter.

They dug a nice little hole for him to fill with ice, then melt, so he'd have a nice pool of water, which then he heated up.

They were scrubbing him down with various soaps as he kept the water hot with his fire powers.

"Mama Mia brother, Bowser got you good this time." Luigi said, with a clothes pin over his nose, as pretty much all of them had.

"Agreed, little brother." Mario said, with a sigh, as he was scrubbed down.

The calamity goes on.

* * *

**Just try and tell me that was not a good chapter! XDD**


	9. Conflict

**There is a great deal of conflict in this chapter, so what does that mean?**

**There is a great deal of FUN in this chapter! ^^**

* * *

Chapter 9: Conflict

After Mario's defecation, and cleansing, the party seemed to settle down for a little bit. Everyone was relaxing on the shoreline; some drinking themselves merry, some socializing, some finding peace and seclusion, and others raising hell.

Mario was chatting with Luigi when someone tapped on his shoulder.

Mario turned to see a business man wearing glasses, a grey suit, white undershirt, and red tie. Beside the man were two tough looking guys, with black hoods and tank tops. "Greetings," the man began, "Is this the party that the boys agreed to playing?"

Mario remembered hearing this man's voice, and he was no other than Charles Foster Ofdensen. "Oh yes, yes, we're all set, we have a stage and…"

"That was nice of you, but the boys will have their own stage; they prefer to have their performances their way." Ofdensen said, fairly quickly, seeming to want to save time.

"Oh, very good. Is there-a any paperwork that you needs me to look at?" Mario asked, smiling, despite Ofdensen's cold and blank expression.

"No, thank you though, I will just be surveying the area and…"

"K-K-KA HEY EVERYBODY!" someone said, charging out, wearing a pink spandex suit that was a little too tight. He had gnarly green hair, a wild hat, and face paint that set him apart as a walking rainbow. "It's me! Doctor Rockso, the rock'n'roll clown, and I do cocaaaaine!"

It was Doctor Rockso, and Charles seemed to shake his head, and rub the bridge of his nose.

"Toki invited me here to this fine partay!" Rockso went on to say.

"No, he didn't." One of the hooded men said. "He told us, even after your reunion show, he wanted nothing to do with…" The man seemed to look away, at a piece of paper, "that dildos ass tits bag."

"Aw, I'm sure Toki would never say that about good ol' Doctor Rockso."

"Actually, yes, he did." Ofdensen said. "Please don't cause us any trouble, or measures will be taken."

Doctor Rockso's face seemed to twitch, before he ran off in some random direction, shrieking about being electrocuted and stomped.

Mario just tilted his head, confused. "…Okay, so, when can we expect the band?"

"Later this evening, don't worry." Ofdensen said, nodding to the plumber.

"Alright, have fun…" Mario began.

"I will." Ofdensen said, before walking off, seeming to inspect the area.

Mario shrugged it off, and turned to see Luigi gone, and noticed a crowd in the distance. In this crowd, he could see Falco and Balthier engaged in a bitter conflict.

"Are you suggesting that you're a better shot than me?" Balthier asked, tauntingly, holding his gun over his shoulder, grinning.

"Hell yeah! Look at you, Mr. 'Sky-Pirate', I wonder what it is you do when you capture ships." Falco said tauntingly, spinning his blaster.

Balthier only smiled, and pointed over to Fran. "She's my companion, so think about that before you dig yourself further into a pit."

Falco's jaw almost dropped as he looked over at Fran, and he appeared to have 'DAMN!' scrawled on his forehead. "…well still, nonetheless, you can't possibly hope to outshoot me!"

"Do you want to try it?" Balthier asked, never losing is cool demeanor, pointing to some plates on a nearby table. "Whoever shoots the most out of five wins?"

"Deal!" Falco said, pulling his blaster out and taking aim. "You, blue guy, toss the plates would ya'?" Falco added, asking Blumeire to toss the plates; soley due to the fact he was a neutral in this group.

"Oh, sure, why not." He said, slowly approaching the group, taking five plates, and looking at them both, standing between the two, who had moved a good distance away from between them.

"Yeah" said Falco.

"Let's get this over with." Balthier said, with a sigh, extending his pistol arm.

"Alright, three… two… one, here it goes!" Blumeire said, before tossing the plates in the air.

They both took aim, and fired their first shots.

However, there was a large difference in their shots. Balthier aimed straight for Falco's pistol, and shot it out of his hand, then simply pulled out another pistol and shot a single plate, letting the rest fall.

"Hey! That's dirty!" Falco yelled, holding his hand, making sure he wasn't shot.

"And you expected better?" Balthier said, lowering his first pistol, that had a second barrel, which would probably mean he had a second shot saved.

"Woah woah woah, this was a gentlman's game, no need to get barbaric." Falco said, waving his arms.

"We agree on that point, but I just wanted to see your reaction, you take well to having a gun pointed at you." Balthier said, grinning, as he put his pistols away.

"I have my abilities." Falco said, grinning a fairly proud smile.

"As do I." Said balthier, slowly walking away, without saying a single word of farewells; just waving to the people with a smile.

"That's Balthier for you." Penelo said, nearby.

"Yeah, I saw that coming a mile away." Vaan added, after taking a bite from an apple.

"Don't you know not to talk with your mouth full?" Penelo asked, semi-scolding Vaan.

"Sorry." He said, with a grin, that made it impossible for Penelo to yell at him. She only let out a sigh, and smiled once again.

However, Mario's attention was not upon the two smitten youths, it was upon a certain island out in lake Hylia, that seemed to be completely engulfed in flames. It suspiciously surrounded a single tree, and it caused him a little worry, so he went and spoke to Bowser.

"Bowser, did-a you start that-a fire over there?" Mario asked, pointing out to it.

"No, why do you think it was me, Captain Defecator?" Bowser said, resisting the urge to laugh.

"Listen Bowser, I'll be-a sure to trounce you good next time-a for that, but this is a time where I'd prefer I didn't have to-a crush your armies." Mario said, shaking his head. "I thought it was-a you, because when you laugh, sometimes you-a set things on fire."

Mario had a good piece of evidence for this, Bowser actually set one of the serving tables from his eating contest on fire.

"Hmm, well that is true, you Mini-Moustached pustule, I didn't do it." Bowser said, then he looked at the fire, and then he seemed to be in shock.

"Bowser, something wrong?" Mario asked.

"I… well I mean, Mario, we've been friends a long time and well…"

"What the hell did you do?" Mario asked.

"Well… remember when I said I invited people…"

"Who is it, Bowser?" Mario asked, crossing his arms and tapping his foot.

"Well…" Bowser said, before muttering.

"What was that?" Mario asked, not hearing him.

Bowser leaned forward, and whispered in his ear.

"WHAT!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't know Cloud would be here! You could take him so I thought he'd be cool, but you had to invite Cloud!" Bowser said, defending himself.

"CLOUD WAS ON THE ORIGINAL GUEST LIST!" Mario yelled at Bowser. "How could you invite..."

With that, the fiery island suddenly went out, and then the fire pulsed again quickly, and a figure was seen standing there.

"Oh shit." Bowser said. "Kami, protect my armchair!"

Kami was nowhere to be found.

Suddenly, the figure leaped from the fiery island, revealing one wing, a black costume with silver details and pauldrons. He had shining white hair and vibrant green eyes… and a sword longer than most people's lives.

"Sephiroth!" Mario said, surprised to see him. The two had met before, in one of Mario's cross-dimensional travels. Needless to say, Sephiroth was one of the toughest, meanest, coldest, strongest, and all around most badass villains Mario had ever fought. However, like the rest, Sephiroth was 'beaten'. Mario wasn't sure just how well Sephiroth would take seeing one of few people that was able to destroy him.

"Hmm… so this is the congregation. Quite a strong group… but this is not my world, their destructions lie in wait in their worlds." Sephiroth said, more to himself, than anyone else, he then looked at Mario, grinning a devilish grin. "I remember you, you are the strongest of all of them."

"It's nice to have you here." Mario said, chuckling nervously, he knew that upsetting Sephiroth would be major trouble very quickly.

"I see, thank you." Sephiroth said, being fairly civil, compared to his treatment of mortals when Mario met him.

However Sephiroth seemed preoccupied, he seemed to be looking, searching.

Most definitely for Cloud.

It wasn't long, a few moments later, the Orange haired one stepped forth, followed by The Hero of Time. He, as he said, knew of Sephiroth, and knew that Sephiroth would be an incredibly tough opponent. However, the slaying of the god Majora put Link on an entire other level; which was surprising as Mario was even greater.

Cloud and Sephiroth just looked at each other, Sephiroth kept his grin always. "Cloud… its so good to see you."

"Shut up." Cloud said, withdrawing the fabled Buster Sword, giving Sephiroth a good death stare.

"Oh Cloud, you know I love it when you talk dirty to me." Sephiroth said, putting his hand on the grip of Masamune.

In a split second, the battle had begun… and stopped.

Cloud swung down at Sephiroth, while Sephiroth planned to do a quick slash at Cloud from the side.

Both attacks were blocked by the Hero of Time. "How about we keep things civil, at least for now?"

The rivals looked at each other, then at the man who had stopped them, both of them, at once.

Sephiroth was the first to stop, and sheath his sword. "That is fine with me, I have no need to hasten the inevitable. I will go and see the foolish mortals of the other worlds, sometimes your kinds are indeed amusing."

After Sephiroth, cloud moved his blade away from the heroes shield, and walked away, stoic and silent.

Mario breathed a sigh of relief. "That could have been-a so much worse."

Just then Luigi ran frantically past The Hero of Time and tackled his brother. "Th-th-th-that was Sephiroth!"

Mario could only chuckle. "Yes, yes it was."

Luigi was struck on the back of the head by Daisy with what we could only assume was a frying pain or some other instrument of doom that women have learned over the generations of human race to torment males with. "Come on! You know just as well you could probably take Sephiroth!"

Luigi doubted his abilities a great bit, and was easily frightened. He was not a fighter, it wasn't in his person to like anything about a fight, or causing another pain. "If-a you say so Daisy, but still, he give me the creeps, bro!"

Mario helped his brother up, and patted him on the back. "Cheer up, he's in a good mood at the moment, he's only tried to kill Cloud so far, but then again what else is-a new?"

"That is good, I guess." Luigi said, finally starting to calm down.

"Daisy, do you know where Peach is?" Mario asked, curiously.

"Oh, she's with a bunch of other girls, we're having a blast!"

Girls, having blast, in a group; this equation spelled only death and misery for all the males in the vincinity.

"Ah, I-a see, Luigi, come with me, we won't keep you away from them Daisy." Mario said, before grabbing his younger brother, and rushing him along.

"Brother, what's-a wrong?" Luigi asked, as he tried to keep up with Mario.

"We have a problem, worse than any apocalyptic bad guy, or ancient prophecy…" Mario began.

"We have a group of girls all working together, if we do not do the same, it will be the death of all men-kind here at the party."


End file.
